Sunday, January 29, 2012

Heartache, Tears, Snuggles & Licks

It's with a broken heart I write today's post.  Last week my 17 1/2 year old kitty, Sassy, went to the (Rainbow) Bridge.
It was a very hard decision to make & I still can't believe she's not here anymore.  I chose to have it done at home, which is something I will never, ever regret.  It was peaceful & my last 30 minutes with her were in my arms & not in a car.  My last vision of her is one I will never forget of course, but I'm so happy it was here, where she was comfortable & with people who loved her.

Steve & my mom both were both here to also say goodbye.  Sassy lived with me for 6 years at my parents' house before Steve & I got married.
Steve surprised me with her at the house after we returned from our honeymoon...we had agreed neither of us were bringing any animals to our house.  I was devastated at the time, but Steve knew how much she meant to me & arranged for her to be there when we got home!  I'm so glad he did that...I can't imagine not having the last 11 years with her!

Not having her here is really weird & still surreal.  It's crazy to realize something so small, her nickname was "Peanut" because she was always so petite, had such a huge impact in our home/pack.  All the bullies knew better than to mess with her & if Sassy wanted to sleep on my lap, she'd move the bullies out of the way.
(I took this photo one day when I was working at home, all the animals were in a row, w/Sassy on my lap.  From closest to farthest...Law, Howie, Sassy, Vivi & Doc.  I love this photo.)

The bullies knew something was up for a few days...probably because I'd cry all the time.  They were in their kennels when we had the vet come & they were silent, completely silent.  So unlike them when a visitor comes to the house.  It's almost like they were paying their respects to her as well.

Law is missing his bestie & snuggle partner.  He's been my velcro kitty since it happened & I'm ok with that.  We're here for each other.  He even slept at my head that first night...just like Sassy would.  That made me smile...and cry.
 
I miss my getting ready in the morning partner, she would sit on the sink & drink water from the faucet.  Some mornings she'd jump up & give me a hug or want me to do her "eye makeup."
I miss my bedtime hand warmer...she'd start out sleeping on my hand...I have scars to prove it & am so happy to have them.  I miss my crabby little peanut girl, always telling you what was on her mind (hence her name)...that never went away.
I miss my sewing partner...she oversaw everything I made & made sure to help me whenever I needed it.
I miss everything about her...I had her for nearly half my life, that's a long time.  It's still just so weird.  I know I didn't write about her (or Law for that matter) much,
but I've had cats since I was 5-years-old & Sassy was the one I've had the longest...so really I'm a cat person first, bully momma 2nd...the bullies just get all the blog press.

Anyway, I wanted to give Sassy the blog press she deserved.
Miss you baby girl.

PS-The day it happened, I needed to get out of the house.  I got into my car & saw I had some white stuff on my vest.  When I looked down to brush it away, I saw this:
I gasped, started to cry & said, "she made it to the bridge.  She's with Ollie now."

10 comments:

  1. Oh Jen, this post had me in tears! I am sooo sorry for your loss. I know how you are feeling cus last year I had to put my Scooter down who was 21 yrs old. I had gotten him when I was 14yrs old and he was my buddy for half my life! It's such a hard thing to do!

    Julie M.

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    1. Thank you Julie. So hard to lose them at any age, but as you know (wow--21!!) having them for so long is a blessing (to have them for so long) & painful (to have had them for so long). So sorry to hear about Scooter. I bet Sassy & he are playing on the bridge..or laying around sleeping. :) Jen

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  2. Tears! What a wonderful and beautiful kitty who had a wonderful and beautiful life with you and the rest of her pack members.

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    1. Thanks Ann. She is greatly missed by all of us.

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  3. Jen,
    You made me cry at work, that is never allowed. what a beautiful thing you wrote and the rainbow is Sassy's way of saying she is okay now and with those who will love her and take care of her in her new life! Love you, Mary Ellen

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    1. Thanks Maire! I know, the rainbow really did make me happy & sad at the same time.

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  4. love you sasser. will miss you tons...have fun with your new rainbow friends! love gramma k

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  5. Oh Jen I am so sorry!!! That really sucks! Look at what a cool life she had - she was a lucky cat! Take care. Hugs from my pack to yours - Kim, Otis and Stella (who we also call Sassy)

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    1. Thanks Kim. She was pretty special that's for sure! Thanks for the hugs!

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